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The Bar For non Automotive Related Chat |
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21-10-2005, 11:46 PM | #1 | ||
Looking for clues...
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Morayfield
Posts: 23,099
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Helen Clarke, Prime Minister of New Zulland, is rudely
awoken at 4am by the telephone. "Hillen, its the hilth munister here. Sorry to bother you at this hour but there is an emergency! I've just received word thet the Durex fectory en Auckland has burned to the ground. It is istimated thet the entire New Zulland supply of condoms will be gone by the ind of the week." "Shuuuuuut - the economy wull niver be able to cope with all those unwanted babies - we'll be ruined!" "We're going to hef to shup some in from abroad. Britain?..." "No chence!! The Poms will have a field day on thus one!" "What about Australia?" "Maybe - but we don't want them to know thet we are stuck. You call John Howard - tell hum we need one moollion condoms; ten enches long and eight enches thuck! That way they'll know how bug the Kiwis really are!!" Helen calls John, who agrees to help the Kiwis out in their hour of need. Three days later a van arrives in Auckland - full of boxes. A delighted Helen rushes out to open the boxes. She finds condoms; 10 inches long; 8 inches thick, all coloured green and gold. She then notices in small writing on each and every one......... MADE IN AUSTRALIA - SIZE : MEDIUM Last edited by Captain Stubing; 21-10-2005 at 11:55 PM. |
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22-10-2005, 12:17 AM | #2 | ||
LPG > You
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Sydney, NSW, Australia
Posts: 4,277
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: That's pretty funny.
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LPG Lovers Association President & Member #1. : |
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22-10-2005, 12:24 AM | #3 | ||
Once PHASED.
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Townsville
Posts: 972
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Choice,swanny
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2006 BF XR8 Bionic. |
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22-10-2005, 12:30 AM | #4 | ||
Looking for clues...
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Morayfield
Posts: 23,099
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Another one...
Fred and Mary get married but can't afford a honeymoon, so they go back to mom and dad's for the night. In the morning, little Johnny gets up and has his breakfast. As he is going out of the door to go to school, he asks his mom if Fred and Mary are up yet. She replies, "No". Johnny asks, "Do you know what I think? " His mom replies, "Never mind what you think! Just go to school." Johnny comes home for lunch and asks his mom, "Are Fred and Mary up yet?" She replies, "No." Johnny says, "Do you know what I think?" His mom replies, "Never mind what you think! Eat your lunch and go back to school." After school, he comes home and asks, "Is Fred and Mary up yet?" His mom says, "No." Johnny asks, "Do you know what I think?" His mom replies, "OK! What do you think?" He says, "Well, last night Fred came in for the Vaseline and I think I gave him my airplane glue." |
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22-10-2005, 12:42 AM | #5 | ||
Once PHASED.
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Townsville
Posts: 972
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Yep another good one.. if you are not american we spell mom ..mum. we also pronounce it mum..
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2006 BF XR8 Bionic. |
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22-10-2005, 01:02 AM | #6 | |||
Burnin Rubber
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Melbourne, Victoria
Posts: 1,824
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hahahahahaha, poor kiwis, its great laughing at their expense.
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2001 AUII Forte (LPG) K&N Air Filter Tickford Air Intake ***Coming Soon: Clear Side Repeaters*** Quote:
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22-10-2005, 10:29 AM | #7 | ||
Foo Fighter
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Wellington, NZ
Posts: 3,740
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Are you really bad at spelling or is that part of the joke?
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22-10-2005, 10:33 AM | #8 | ||
As in 'best there ever'
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Bayswater, VIC
Posts: 1,574
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The spelling has to do with the kiwi accent. It's part of the gag.
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"We swear by the Southern Cross to stand truly by each other, and to fight to defend our rights and liberties."
The Diggers Oath, 29 November 1854 My XB Fairmont Sedan Project |
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22-10-2005, 10:48 AM | #9 | ||
Foo Fighter
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Wellington, NZ
Posts: 3,740
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What the hell is Hilth? I've never heard anyone say that. But to be fair I've never been to taranaki.
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22-10-2005, 10:54 AM | #10 | ||
Banned
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: South East Melbourne
Posts: 6,156
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Hilth - health. Might also be pronounced hulth.
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22-10-2005, 12:02 PM | #11 | ||
Bolt Nerd
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Ojochal, Costa Rica (Pura Vida!)
Posts: 14,599
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The accent made it!!..... Giggling away here reading aloud.... Great stuff Swanny
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Current vehicles.. Yamaha Rhino UTV, SWB 4L TJ Jeep, and boring Lhd RAV4 Bionic BF F6... UPDATE: Replaced by Shiro White 370z 7A Roadster. SOLD Workhack: FG Silhouette XR50 Turbo ute (11.63@127.44mph) SOLD 2 wheels.. 2015 103ci HD Wideglide.. SOLD SOLD THE LOT, Voted with our feet and relocated to COSTA RICA for some Pura Vida! (Ex Blood Orange #023 FPV Pursuit owner : ) |
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22-10-2005, 01:09 PM | #12 | ||
Just slidin'
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Brisvegas
Posts: 7,791
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Ha ha bloody ha. I work with a bunch of kiwis who are always on about "that" issue.
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MD Mondeo - For the family
NP Pajero - For the adventure |
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22-10-2005, 06:20 PM | #13 | ||
Turbo Dinosaur FTMFW
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: SA
Posts: 7,834
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yes i must say ive never heard it pronounced that way.
but i have heard that joke a million times...... don't laugh too hard or you'll mess up your mullet |
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22-10-2005, 10:00 PM | #14 | ||
Afterburner + skids =
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Skidsville
Posts: 12,113
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hahaha damn Kiwi's! :P
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Speed Kills. So buy an AU XR8 and live forever. Oo\===/oO |
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