Depression, Anxiety

[MercuryT]

I'm really worried about Shav. (blueoval)

He hasn't posted for a while and I know has legal stuff going on which I helped with (albeit terrible situation)

Reach out to him if you can

[Ben73]

Definitely check on your friends and family. Not just today, but regularly.
NSW Health made a Facebook post about RUOK day and the page got blown up by people saying they are not ok.
The government doesn’t care. They don’t post suicide stats on the news each day so they don’t care.
Most workplaces don’t care even when they put up posters everywhere. Their main concern would be how business will be negatively affected if you don’t show up tomorrow.
So yes check on your family. No one else will.

[MercuryT]

Originally Posted by Ben73

Definitely check on your friends and family. Not just today, but regularly.
NSW Health made a Facebook post about RUOK day and the page got blown up by people saying they are not ok.
The government doesn’t care. They don’t post suicide stats on the news each day so they don’t care.
Most workplaces don’t care even when they put up posters everywhere. Their main concern would be how business will be negatively affected if you don’t show up tomorrow.
So yes check on your family. No one else will.

Interesting as I'm part of "Beyond Blue" and most suicide posts deleted and directed to Lifeline.

The numbers are much (much) higher than what the public know.

I know that resource is there. I want support not a number I already have.

You are right. Many don't care so even more reason to make a greater effort in future (imo)

[DFB FGXR6]

Originally Posted by Ben73

Definitely check on your friends and family. Not just today, but regularly.
NSW Health made a Facebook post about RUOK day and the page got blown up by people saying they are not ok.
The government doesn’t care. They don’t post suicide stats on the news each day so they don’t care.
Most workplaces don’t care even when they put up posters everywhere. Their main concern would be how business will be negatively affected if you don’t show up tomorrow.
So yes check on your family. No one else will.

Yes, absolutely!

It's all an about dusting their hands of the subject. An yes, its all in an attempt to hopefully not have a worker costing them in sick leave and as you say, not turning up for work. I can see those cogs turning in the minds of my bosses. But of course we know men don't have or should not express feelings.

[Ben73]

Originally Posted by DFB FGXR6

Yes, absolutely!

It's all an about dusting their hands of the subject. An yes, its all in an attempt to hopefully not have a worker costing them in sick leave and as you say, not turning up for work. I can see those cogs turning in the minds of my bosses. But of course we know men don't have or should not express feelings.

For some larger corporate companies it's just another box ticking exercise to make them look good. Just another KPI to meet.

Some companies who go hard on these topics are usually the ones that will pull you into an office and have words with you for having 'too many' days off sick. Even if you have saved up several months of sick leave.

[sneaky]

Originally Posted by Ben73

For some larger corporate companies it's just another box ticking exercise to make them look good. Just another KPI to meet.

Some companies who go hard on these topics are usually the ones that will pull you into an office and have words with you for having 'too many' days off sick. Even if you have saved up several months of sick leave.

sounds very familiar to me..

company preaches mental health, I got a chat for 'too many' days off last year and I have a sick leave balance of around 100 days (good award and long time at the company)

Maybe the company has good intentions that get lost in the layers of management.. CEO wants to do the right thing, his underlings put targets on their underlings who intern put targets on their underlings and all of a sudden people are being 'chatted' for taking leave. Or maybe they like to preach that they care when they don't really care and it is good corporate image to say they care.

My new manager said I had taken the most sick leave in the team last year. He showed me the calendar - 7 weeks for appendicitis, another week for medical reasons on certificate, another week on certificate for mental health because I was at breaking point and other random days or hours here and there to see doctors/specialists/psychologist - any time was shown as an 'occasion' on the report.

now when I'm sick or at a low point and feel like a break is needed i'm hesitant to call in sick. I'm more likely to log in to the computer and stuff around for a few hours or the day because I don't think 'metal health' would be seen as a good reason.

[slowsnake]

I worked for multiple employers over a long hard career as a trade boilermaker/welder, and no matter who you worked for, or where the location was, in the end you were just a number on a payslip, not a valued employee but a number!


Cheers Billy

[DFB FGXR6]

Originally Posted by sneaky

sounds very familiar to me..

company preaches mental health, I got a chat for 'too many' days off last year and I have a sick leave balance of around 100 days (good award and long time at the company)

Maybe the company has good intentions that get lost in the layers of management.. CEO wants to do the right thing, his underlings put targets on their underlings who intern put targets on their underlings and all of a sudden people are being 'chatted' for taking leave. Or maybe they like to preach that they care when they don't really care and it is good corporate image to say they care.

That's exactly it, "look, we care, but don't make me work any harder by needing a day off".

At the end of the day, it is just a job, the employer has no need to know or care how each of its workers are doing. You are just there to make money for yourself and them. Work like a robot, don't make waves, don't be a human.

This is from someone with 66 days leave owing because I'm made to feel like I can't take a break when I need it. Last time I asked for a day off to tend to family I was looked down upon with a grunt of disapproval. I missed that time with my family.

[Ben73]

Originally Posted by sneaky

sounds very familiar to me..

company preaches mental health, I got a chat for 'too many' days off last year and I have a sick leave balance of around 100 days (good award and long time at the company)

Maybe the company has good intentions that get lost in the layers of management.. CEO wants to do the right thing, his underlings put targets on their underlings who intern put targets on their underlings and all of a sudden people are being 'chatted' for taking leave. Or maybe they like to preach that they care when they don't really care and it is good corporate image to say they care.

My new manager said I had taken the most sick leave in the team last year. He showed me the calendar - 7 weeks for appendicitis, another week for medical reasons on certificate, another week on certificate for mental health because I was at breaking point and other random days or hours here and there to see doctors/specialists/psychologist - any time was shown as an 'occasion' on the report.

now when I'm sick or at a low point and feel like a break is needed i'm hesitant to call in sick. I'm more likely to log in to the computer and stuff around for a few hours or the day because I don't think 'metal health' would be seen as a good reason.

I can relate to all that.

Funniest/saddest one I had was several years ago I had an eye operation.
Doctor wrote a certificates for 1 week off and 3 weeks of day work only.

A manager read my certificate and said I was no good to them working day work only. They said I should take the whole 4 weeks off and recover properly since I had so much sick leave saved up. I agreed and got a certificate for 4 weeks.

Less than a year later another manager approaches me "Come into my office we need to talk about your sick leave over the past year"

[MercuryT]

I've emailed Shav (blueoval) again privately.

No response.

Please do so as he's a top fella

[T3rminator]

Originally Posted by MercuryT

I've emailed Shav (blueoval) again privately.

No response.

Please do so as he's a top fella

I checked in on him end of July. Not heard from him since, maybe just taking a break from social media? Hope so.

[DFB FGXR6]

Originally Posted by T3rminator

I checked in on him end of July. Not heard from him since, maybe just taking a break from social media? Hope so.

Originally Posted by MercuryT

I've emailed Shav (blueoval) again privately.

No response.

Please do so as he's a top fella

I was in contact with him via another channel a few days ago.

[MercuryT]

Originally Posted by DFB FGXR6

I was in contact with him via another channel a few days ago.

Great news.

Thank you as I emailed him but I know has a lot going on.

[blueoval]

Hey guys, thanks for thinking of me. I really appreciate it. I did take a bit of a hiatus from social media for a bit. A bit of that time was used just dealing with some legal issues with family. Chris (aka MercuryT) was assisting me on some things. Can't thank him enough on the support.

I also spent some time doing some camping, working, and taking a lower profile. I don't get out much and to be honest I dont mind it. I tend to stick to myself and immediate family. Finding that staying home I am becoming more comfortable. Going out is only done out of necessity but I will almost always be happy to stay home, watch some movies, play with the dog or chill out.

Went out and did some 4X4 driving with about 10 other 4wd's at Eagleview 4x4 in Saunders Gorge here in SA. Lots of fun there with about 30 people and it was something I actually enjoyed just being outdoors, taking photos and having fun doing car stuff.

[DFB FGXR6]

Originally Posted by blueoval

Hey guys, thanks for thinking of me. I really appreciate it. I did take a bit of a hiatus from social media for a bit. A bit of that time was used just dealing with some legal issues with family. Chris (aka MercuryT) was assisting me on some things. Can't thank him enough on the support.

I also spent some time doing some camping, working, and taking a lower profile. I don't get out much and to be honest I dont mind it. I tend to stick to myself and immediate family. Finding that staying home I am becoming more comfortable. Going out is only done out of necessity but I will almost always be happy to stay home, watch some movies, play with the dog or chill out.

Went out and did some 4X4 driving with about 10 other 4wd's at Eagleview 4x4 in Saunders Gorge here in SA. Lots of fun there with about 30 people and it was something I actually enjoyed just being outdoors, taking photos and having fun doing car stuff.

That sounds very familiar!

For me, I get (more than enough) social interaction at work with customers and colleagues, outside of that all I want to do is hide away. And I mean that in the sense I find the solitude comforting, I don't have to fake the smile, I'm not being judged, I can just be who I am. Maybe that's half of my problem? All I know is I have always been a quiet person, some people just are, and that's totally OK.

I also think it is great that you have been doing stuff you love. That is so important. We spend so long working that we can often forget or just don't make the time for self care in the form of an interesting activity.

[blueoval]

Originally Posted by DFB FGXR6

That sounds very familiar!

For me, I get (more than enough) social interaction at work with customers and colleagues, outside of that all I want to do is hide away. And I mean that in the sense I find the solitude comforting, I don't have to fake the smile, I'm not being judged, I can just be who I am. Maybe that's half of my problem? All I know is I have always been a quiet person, some people just are, and that's totally OK.

I also think it is great that you have been doing stuff you love. That is so important. We spend so long working that we can often forget or just don't make the time for self care in the form of an interesting activity.

The thing is Deyon I never used to be that way. I was always looking for an excuse to go out anywhere, catch up with friends or go socialize. The mrs was the one who was wanting me to not do so much. But the past 2 yrs or so I have just hidden and I am finding it a lot easier to stay at home than to go out. It could be my age though, Im not sure. Covid has made the decision to stay at home easier too. Im not governed by the restrictions as much as I work from home and I find Im not spending anywhere near as much money as I once was.

I also dont have the patience for people as I used to either. I much rather not bother with them and deal with the BS.

It's given me time to try and work myself out too.

[DFB FGXR6]

Originally Posted by blueoval

The thing is Deyon I never used to be that way. I was always looking for an excuse to go out anywhere, catch up with friends or go socialize. The mrs was the one who was wanting me to not do so much. But the past 2 yrs or so I have just hidden and I am finding it a lot easier to stay at home than to go out. It could be my age though, Im not sure. Covid has made the decision to stay at home easier too. Im not governed by the restrictions as much as I work from home and I find Im not spending anywhere near as much money as I once was.

I also dont have the patience for people as I used to either. I much rather not bother with them and deal with the BS.

It's given me time to try and work myself out too.

Ooo boy, and I'm the opposite, online shopping and all.

Covid has forced many to change their habits, both good and bad. For me, it meant that certain things I used to do outside of home I no longer have the desire to do. But that's ok because I have found other ways to unwind.

People change and evolve, if you no longer want to go out, then that's ok. I find we spend so much of our lives doing what others want or what we think they want. If you are finding joy, pleasure of comfort from being at home then celebrate it. I hate the "live in the moment" tag line, but it is very true.

[blueoval]

Originally Posted by DFB FGXR6

Ooo boy, and I'm the opposite, online shopping and all.

Covid has forced many to change their habits, both good and bad. For me, it meant that certain things I used to do outside of home I no longer have the desire to do. But that's ok because I have found other ways to unwind.

People change and evolve, if you no longer want to go out, then that's ok. I find we spend so much of our lives doing what others want or what we think they want. If you are finding joy, pleasure of comfort from being at home then celebrate it. I hate the "live in the moment" tag line, but it is very true.

Cheers mate. I thought there was something severely wrong with me for the longest time when I went this way. But it's probably got a lot to do with Covid and the way the world is that has made me want to not be a part of it anymore. Not in a suicidal way, just not wanting to be involved with the level of entertainment I once thought was the pinnacle of life.

I still miss travelling but doubt I will ever do anything internationally again. Hence why I am looking at more statewide excursions and the like.

[whitelion65]

Mate,
That’s some pretty heavy stuff you’ve had to go through, and facing your mortality (either way) can be confronting.
I’m in hospital at the moment, for the third time since May. I’ve had trouble with infection in a VP shunt (a line that drains fluid from my brain to my guts). For a bloke who presented suicidal (clinically confirmed) at emergency mental health around two years ago, I’ve found that when it comes down to it, we cling to life (and hope, I guess).
I would go back to your Dr and go over the pros and cons again, even try to see a councilor to help arrange your thoughts.
You seem like a great bloke, from reading your posts. I wish we could have a cool one together and chew the fat.
Stay strong brother.
Steve

[slowsnake]

Originally Posted by whitelion65

Mate,
You seem like a great bloke, from reading your posts. I wish we could have a cool one together and chew the fat.
Stay strong brother.
Steve

Thank you, but I can't have a cold one anymore, and chewing the fat, you really need teeth for that!.....lol, joking of course......

I take life as it comes, I try never to dwell on the past, except if they are good happy memories, its too easy to slip into a type of melancholy that only alcohol seems to satisfy, an urge to go back over old ground and old " grudges "......not a good place to be, I like to be in control of my emotions and mouth at all times, but am only human and I take responsibility for all my actions, I do that happily, I never play the blame game, but if I find myself going down that path I quickly assess my situation, good example was when last week I dident take my Pristiq for 4 days, I should of rectified it immediately and dident!.....big mistake by me, I knew better!

As for the cancer, well, it's hard to get my head around that, because I have never had cancer before, I have to rely on others reactions to their past cancer diagnoses, Mmmm, and I can't, I can only hang on for the ride and hope I get to the end with a smile
And I will, I am always smiling, and its real not put on, but thank you for your kind words and positive outlook!

So, that's me done, how are you going?.....in hospital and was/were suicidal, that to me is worse than my current situation, I do not believe in suicide as the panacea for our ills, but when you are battling chemical imbalances in the brain and it seems like you have grey clouds above your head 24/7 is something I can relate to.

Not all of us are " Supermen "....far from it, we are just a group of people all stuck on the same planet, with or without faults we were born with, or developed during our lives.
I most definitely do not believe in VAD, Voluntary Assisted Death, no way could I condone even the thought of ending my life prematurely because it " hurt too much "....I don't want those thoughts in my mind, never mind printed on paper with a Government Stamp of Approval!....what are they thinking, maybe it will take some of the burden off a struggling health system, or free up another bed, who knows, but to me it's murder of self, it's an insult to our Creator, who or whatever that is!

I hope to be concious when my soul/ego leaves my physical body for the end of this incarnation as Billy Slowsnake,.......
It's going to be interesting where I end up and how I get there, it's really an intriguing thought, am I scared of death?...NO......just don't really want too much pain, had enough of that in the rest of my body for a long time, caused according to my beliefs by Karma!...got to have some reason for being here, as different as we all are we are all in the same boat!


You look after yourself, get better soon......


Cheers Billy

[MercuryT]

Hi all and welcome back Shav.

Great to hear from you mate. Nothing wrong with keeping to yourself, everyone is different.

Hope all are doing well despite their different circumstances.

Well, I haven't been too flash to be honest.

I again nearly committed suicide Monday week ago and landed myself in hospital (again).

This time though I wasn't able to leave so was placed in the level 1 Psych Ward where you can't leave unless with approval - in other words, you are locked up.

The staff were mostly great, the patients were very supportive as equally struggling, but I have to say it was a very distressing experience.

I was there for 4 days and didn't see sunlight but was very well fed, nice room etc so i'm certainly not complaining.

Need to get on top of this as apparently if it happens again i'll go to level 2 and it won't be 4 days, more like 4 months.........i'm no danger to anyone else, but that is the policy of health to save people from themselves.

So i'm all good and back to work asap who are aware and have been very supportive.

So as always stay safe all and yes, keep out of the psych wards if at all possible as it's very long, lonely, sad days.......

Cheers, Merc

[blueoval]

Originally Posted by MercuryT

Hi all and welcome back Shav.

Great to hear from you mate. Nothing wrong with keeping to yourself, everyone is different.

Hope all are doing well despite their different circumstances.

Well, I haven't been too flash to be honest.

I again nearly committed suicide Monday week ago and landed myself in hospital (again).

This time though I wasn't able to leave so was placed in the level 1 Psych Ward where you can't leave unless with approval - in other words, you are locked up.

The staff were mostly great, the patients were very supportive as equally struggling, but I have to say it was a very distressing experience.

I was there for 4 days and didn't see sunlight but was very well fed, nice room etc so i'm certainly not complaining.

Need to get on top of this as apparently if it happens again i'll go to level 2 and it won't be 4 days, more like 4 months.........i'm no danger to anyone else, but that is the policy of health to save people from themselves.

So i'm all good and back to work asap who are aware and have been very supportive.

So as always stay safe all and yes, keep out of the psych wards if at all possible as it's very long, lonely, sad days.......

Cheers, Merc

So sorry to hear mate. That's is sad news. I had no idea you were there and I wish I was in the same state to even visit.

Please keep in touch mate even by email. If I can help in a small way even by being a listening ear I will.

[MercuryT]

Originally Posted by blueoval

So sorry to hear mate. That's is sad news. I had no idea you were there and I wish I was in the same state to even visit.

Please keep in touch mate even by email. If I can help in a small way even by being a listening ear I will.

No visitors allowed mate.

Complete lockdown and isolation outside the common area with other patients.

Will do mate and sorry my legal advice wasn't as comprehensive as you maybe hoped for - this probably explains why Shav.

Merc

[mondeomatureguy]

Hi Every Body,
Here we all are still and so is COVID still with us. The good news is we all will be out of lock down later thus month.
I did a mental Health course in 2018 because i was doing Community Driving at the time.

The beauty of this form and this post is we can all get things off our chest, blow a little bit of steam off and we can talk to our mates and keep in touch with them.

I have a close mate who was a Police Officer for 30 years and now his retired and he has issues.
He tells me on the phone that keeping busy helps the most, and writing how his feeling and talking to me on the phone does wonder's for him he say's.

Were not all bulletproof and asking for a hand or asking for help is Not a sign of weakness its the thing to do.

[Cav]

I have thought about posting here for some time.

Like many people, I have suffered trauma and it is still with me today.

What we have to learn is how to live a normal life regardless of what happened in the past.

I am a Vietnam Veteran and I served as an infantry soldier for 1 year and 3 weeks in Vietnam in 1970/71 and I have PTSD.

I sought help over the years once you fight and overcome the denial.

Psychiatrists tend to want to medicate and attend courses.

A specialist in North Sydney helped me immensely when I was about 50 years of age.

I was then referred to a local psychologist in Wollongong where I was living at the time.

He was fantastic. He conned me into helping him with some training courses for veterans, so I agreed to have a look at them and I made a report and detailed how I thought the courses could be improved. Well, it was just a ruse.

In explaining my ideas I ended up breaking down over some issues that were buried deep inside me.

From there, he worked on me for 12 months and in the end, I could talk about my issues without breaking down.

This was brought home to me in Feb this year where I attended a commemorative service at Ennogara Barracks in Brisbane with all my mates commemorating the death of a mate 50 years after the event.

I was heavily involved with my mate. He was a machine gunner and I was his number two. We practically lived together for more than 12 months side by side until a mine incident killed him and seriously injured another mate.

I was MC for the event at Ennogora Barracks and as a few mates stepped forward to say a few words, they were overcome with grief.

Although many memories came flooding back to me, I was still OK to carry on the service and it occurred to me that the other blokes had not come to terms with my mate's death.

You see, we all suffer from 'survival guilt' - a common problem with veterans.

Well in a roundabout way, I'll tell you how the psychologist cured me.

It was with the use of pressure points and positive reinforcement.

That is, tapping various parts of the body and saying positive statements.

It sounds rather silly.

I had forgotten this until I came across this video



So if you are suffering from depression or anxiety, why not give this a shot as detailed in the video - it won't happen overnight, but what have you got to lose?

When I was really suffering a friend got me to attend a Yoga Nidra course. I did this for about 12 months and I found it really good although they were a bunch of weird people doing this and looked at me, a Vietnam Veteran in their midst, a little bit funny-like. Maybe they thought a jungle-trained baby killer didn't fit in.

Don't be afraid to try new things.

You only get one shot a life - make the most of it.

Cheers

Cav

ps I have written a book about my experiences in Vietnam I can send you a digital copy if you message me. But be warned there are plenty of pictures of me.

[blueoval]

Not coping today.

It's not a nice thing to say, but I really dislike people. Especially greedy and self entitled ones.

I just want off this planet.

[ford71V8]

Originally Posted by blueoval

I really dislike people. Especially greedy and self entitled ones.

Amen.
Worse when they are related to you

[FTE217]

Hey you blueoval, turn the other way, breath in out for sometimes walk away.
Its all ok clear the head.

[blueoval]

Originally Posted by FTE217

Hey you blueoval, turn the other way, breath in out for sometimes walk away.
Its all ok clear the head.

easier said than done.

Imagine your own family texting you how disappointed they are of you regularly for lies being being spread by other family members.

[Citroënbender]

That’s pretty rotten. I’m genuinely sorry.