Engagement present etiquette - Page 2

Franco Cozzo · 08-09-2011, 09:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by captain awesome

so ive decided to give him $100 just so there are no fights.

and i will def be giving him a wedding present and the best bucks present ever (a spare dancer)

one thing i did forget to mention is when he offered to fire up the barbie she lost it at him infront of me for offering food all the time. dont mind me helping you out.

good luck to him with that one

Sounds like she put the ring on her own finger.

GT-Pete · 08-09-2011, 09:51 PM

Why the hell do people expect engagement presents nowadays. I say give him nothing. Sounds like he owes you anyway

vanman_75 · 08-09-2011, 10:35 PM

A few tight asses on here , sort out the work for him another day and if your not keen on his missus get something more for him , mates are mates ... he's not ya mum but so set stuff straight up , man up and crack him about any deals ya got going weddings or not

fmc351 · 08-09-2011, 10:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by captain awesome

one thing i did forget to mention is when he offered to fire up the barbie she lost it at him infront of me for offering food all the time. dont mind me helping you out.

good luck to him with that one

Buy him a divorce kit.

Feathers · 08-09-2011, 10:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GT-Pete

Why the hell do people expect engagement presents nowadays. I say give him nothing. Sounds like he owes you anyway

For the ladies there's the engagement present, then a present at the kitchen tea, and they still expect a wedding present!!
Even I think that's excessive - and I'm female!!

Iggypoppin' · 08-09-2011, 10:49 PM

I've never understood why people need presents for getting engaged. Or married. Why the requirement for stuff? Isn't your closest friends and family enough? Just my thoughts....

Geez Louise · 08-09-2011, 10:50 PM

And then don't forget the housewarming present and then the baby shower present....What happened to the good ole days where YOUR presence was the present!

Iggypoppin' · 08-09-2011, 10:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Geez Louise

And then don't forget the housewarming present and then the baby shower present....What happened to the good ole days where YOUR presence was the present!

This is what i'm talking about!

wrongwaynorris · 09-09-2011, 03:42 AM

" he charged her for everything.

he is a great mate "

Sorry no he isn't . Give him nothing as an engagement present .

pottery beige · 09-09-2011, 05:49 AM

poor bloke sounds like his balls are being well and truly broken..... it may take a while before he re grows a spine and snaps out of it.... $10 says within two years old mate will be hitting you up for a place to stay......

Russ · 09-09-2011, 07:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by captain awesome

did i mention his mum aint to bad?

Maybe you should hit on him and not his mum, sounds like the silly bugger needs some shock treatment

Russ · 09-09-2011, 07:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pottery beige

poor bloke sounds like his balls are being well and truly broken..... it may take a while before he re grows a spine and snaps out of it.... $10 says within two years old mate will be hitting you up for a place to stay......

Don't forget him when he rocks up on the doorstep in the middle of the night, payback's a beeech aint it

pottery beige · 09-09-2011, 07:56 AM

cant get a burnt snag or greasy chop there was no chance of the sisters car service deal getting a run... not so much the mate.. the owner of the thumbprint in the middle of his noggin......

ltd · 09-09-2011, 10:44 AM

This girl I used to go out with got engaged to a fella (that she didn't end up marrying) and had a big engagement bash at the Intercontinental. Then, she made everyone pay $85.00 per head for the meal, and she wanted presents as well. I took a mate along, as he had "known" her before too. Coming from a tradition of Italians and Greek weddings/engagements, we saw this prepayment thing as a bit bizarre. When asked to bring a gift on top of the wedding gift, words like grifter and tightass were bantied about, but we put our heads together, went down to the Woolworths and got them a toaster. A cheap woolworths select toaster. Took it out of the box, wrapped it up and on it's way. Best $16.00 we ever spent. It had a blue LED on it.

Even after the wedding was called off and they split up, she decided to keep the gifts.

Funny thing was that when her and I had previously dated, I broke it off with her for being too possesive. I didn't know she was THAT possesive.

pottery beige · 09-09-2011, 10:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ltd

This girl I used to go out with got engaged to a fella (that she didn't end up marrying) and had a big engagement bash at the Intercontinental. Then, she made everyone pay $85.00 per head for the meal, and she wanted presents as well. I took a mate along, as he had "known" her before too. Coming from a tradition of Italians and Greek weddings/engagements, we saw this prepayment thing as a bit bizarre. When asked to bring a gift on top of the wedding gift, words like grifter and tightass were bantied about, but we put our heads together, went down to the Woolworths and got them a toaster. A cheap woolworths select toaster. Took it out of the box, wrapped it up and on it's way. Best $16.00 we ever spent. It had a blue LED on it.

Even after the wedding was called off and they split up, she decided to keep the gifts.

Funny thing was that when her and I had previously dated, I broke it off with her for being too possesive. I didn't know she was THAT possesive.

hahaha love your work.. no reason to get narky... just get em a cheap woolies toaster....

mondo_broady · 09-09-2011, 10:55 AM

good you decide not to be a tight ****. stuff like painting his place is a "love job" and i'm sure if you needed him for something, he'd be there for you too.

pottery beige · 09-09-2011, 11:02 AM

at the end of the day 'mates rates'.. are 'mates rates'........

flappist · 09-09-2011, 11:07 AM

A friend of a friend went to a wedding where it was set up that EVERYONE gave the same crappy toaster as a present.

It drew a lot a laughs and then the "real" presents were given.

What you give and how you treat your friend says a lot more about you than them........

ltd · 09-09-2011, 12:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by flappist

What you give and how you treat your friend says a lot more about you than them........

I agree, so I hope I sent the right message.

Not for nothing, but what is the etiquette when someone you went out with for 6 months, broke up with 4 years before gets engaged and invites you to the engagement?
In normal circumstances I'd never invite an ex to my engagement, unless we remained friends over those for years. In this case we didn't talk until the engagement party. I interpreted it as one up-man-ship where she was proving that she was capable of finding a mate of which she could betrothe, and potentially create additions to the gene pool after I'd rejected her 4 years earlier.

Geez Tony you're making me self-conscious now, maybe I spent too much.

Russ · 09-09-2011, 02:58 PM

This is the ideal gift for a Greek wedding pressy, not only is it heavy and feels expensive, it's easy to wrap as well. You can't go wrong

Mr Hardware · 09-09-2011, 10:21 PM

give him BLOODY NOTHING

Geez Louise · 09-09-2011, 10:22 PM

I just looked at the poll results...

**Giant Cranium** · 10-09-2011, 09:58 AM

ill still get him something makes me the bigger better man. going to his tomorrow to finish of the switches and telephone lines. but ill be having a chat to him and sort out any future work from me needs a hourly rate.

anyone who thinks his not a good mate i can see your point but his just a bit under the thumb. he is a top mate that if i needed him right now he would drop what his doing and come no questions asked.

kind of answers my original post.

just looked at the pole results. why do i have to do the right thing?

pottery beige · 10-09-2011, 10:36 AM

deffo under the thumb.. does she have small feet??.. another part of the answer is there.....

GT69 · 10-09-2011, 11:03 AM

The etiquette use to be that, people who were invited to the engagement party were not invited to the wedding, so, going by that, You only need to buy one present.

I'm sure the true etiquette of weddings/engagements have long since died. So I would give him some money, bury the hatchet and move on. I painted a mates place and wasn't invited to his wedding or his engagement. Such is life. There is to much politics in relationships. Maybe your mate is happy with his choice of woman? Who knows, but there's no point adding more strain on your friendship. Mates will always come back eventually.

Also, If she's that big of a ball breaker, don't make his life worse, be a bit supportive. It'd be safe to assume, he's already copping enough crap.

PS:- Sezzy is my ball breaker (she really isn't

) , We didn't even had an engagement party. She doesn't like people.

I'm not very materialistic these days, would much prefer people to just hang out, rather than ---->

THE CADBURY KID · 13-09-2011, 07:38 PM

People are rude these days by refusing gifts and asking for money and they only invite people to get gifts,money not to help them celebrate.
From the sounds of it hes a ***** for going back on his word and i would let him know beforehand that hes getting sweet fa because of your hard work on his house.
And if he is half decent he will understand.
If you give him cash he will keep on walking all over you like he does now.
Come and celebrate my wedding and help me pay for it even if i dont ever speak to you again.

Later on in life you will see who your real mates are because the users and hangers on just fall away.

**nuthin' fancy** · 20-09-2011, 03:12 PM

Sounds like he's doing us a favour taking that dragon off the market.

iCat · 20-09-2011, 03:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nuthin' fancy

Sounds like he's doing us a favour taking that dragon off the market.

love it!

MAD · 20-09-2011, 04:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by captain awesome

ill still get him something makes me the bigger better man.

Don't do it just because it will make you the bigger man, do it because it's what you want to do.

Wise · 20-09-2011, 05:52 PM

In my opinion there are a few things to consider on your side -

1. Are you the sort of guy who is going to let these things get in the way of you fulfilling your job on the day of them getting married? I notice you didnt say best man at all, but you still are supposed to be there for him.

2. With your sisters car, you need to ask him why he charged her if he was gonna do it for nothing. It could have just been an oversight by the receptionist or something, he may not even know if no one has asked. Dont bring that in to the mix with your issues though, its not related.

3. If there was an arrangement with the work you did on his house where he asked if you could do it on mates rates or for nothing for the wedding, then thats your present. If it there was no such talk, you can probably have one now and he will be fine with it if he is as good a mate as you say.

4. Personally, I dont put an engagement present in for any of my friends, maybe a congratulations card if that. I put the thought and effort in to the actual wedding present as I feel thats the time for it. Last couple of weddings what me and a few other mates did, was pool together hundreds of dollars, then cash it in 5s and 10s, then sticky tape them end to end and putting them in between a couple of 50s then put them in a big envelope so they think theyre getting a huge wad of cash from someone.

I found that looking at the gift registrys and what not there is a lot of crap in there and I would prefer to give money towards their lift together as opposed to giving them a toaster/kitchenware that will eventually be thrown out or break down.

Im a firm believer that whatever you think is being spent on you for the wedding, you give at least that in gift/money as a present.

View Poll Results: what should i do
give him nothing	25	54.35%
give him money for the wishing well	12	26.09%
give him a card stating we are even	9	19.57%
Voters: 46. You may not vote on this poll