Funny things that happen @ work - Page 2

montyv8 · 04-08-2005, 03:40 AM

i work in a car factory, so i dont get to see much....

except occasionally a robot will forget what its doing and smash the hell out of a car.... always fun to watch ;)

bindi · 04-08-2005, 07:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Feathers

"He's right, he doesn't have anything."

He promptly pulled up his pants and left the store.

It was probably a little chilly in the store...

bindi · 04-08-2005, 07:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sourbastard

They were filled with the love of the bastard.

I don't want to know what kind of love you are talking about...

mcflux · 04-08-2005, 09:50 AM

Busting the "locals" when they're attempting to steal plastic bags can be funny sometimes :P

I think my standout moment at work was when this 16yo said "Dave, I got my nipple pierced yesterday!" and I'm stuggling to think of the non-MSN/real life term for "pix?" and she promptly lifts her top

:

Oh what a pity there are now security cameras in staff-only areas, as stuff like that used to happen all the time. A night manager busted two (ex-staff) chicks going for it in the vegie coolroom once :(

Another funny (karma this time) incident was getting mild food poisoning after eating/pinching about $10 of deli meat (hey, I was hungry and bored!) The rest of that shift was interesting...

-Dave-

BA Bakes · 04-08-2005, 11:49 AM

I get a few ones that makes you what to bang your or there head againest a brick wall.
User: Can you installed MS Office on my computer, it not there.
Me: Office is installed on every computer.
User: It not on my computer i can't see it on my desktop.
Me: Click on Start, All Programs, Microsoft Office.
User: OOOOHHHH, is that it??

"How do a change printers?"

niko · 04-08-2005, 11:56 AM

haha "chik chik, BOOOOOOOOOOOM"

Steffo · 04-08-2005, 02:30 PM

Back when I used to work as a PC tech in the most boring job in the world... some lady bought a PIII 650 off us for $250.. I wiped the HDD.. installed Win98SE, but left it at the bit which asks for the Product Key, as that was stuck on the side of the case, so she could put her name and details in etc.

So she comes to pick it up, claiming she's very proficiant with computers, knows her way around them quite well, takes a glance at our tech lab, with bits of computers everywhere, and then goes off in her car.

So, I get a call the same day, and its her. It goes as follows...

Her: "This computer you sold me is faulty. I want another one."
Me: "What's wrong with it."
Her: "It's asking me for something called a 'Product Key,' its faulty"
Me: "Your product key is on a sticker on the side of the case."

She started crying on the phone after that....

That's about the funniest thing I can think of that happened at that super boring place.. aside the time I accidently dropped a $1200 laptop and cracked the LCD screen.. oops...

Shonky · 04-08-2005, 02:49 PM

I work in a call center and frequently get put on hold for extended periods of time. Most places have a standard music recording playing on loop while you're on hold, but some have the radio playing.

I called a potential client yesterday and was put on hold, and was sitting there listening to Eagle Rock playing down the phone. The song ended, and I heard a voice, so I started rabbiting off the standard call script. I got about five lines into the call script when I suddenly I heard a 'click' and someone say "Hello?"

It was then I realised I had been trying to sell newspapers to the radio...

:

parawolf · 04-08-2005, 03:04 PM

Man i'm so glad I work in the high end of IT - I actually deal with educated systems administrators and programmers, not end users. I don't think I could stand the IT industry if it was any other way...

ned · 04-08-2005, 03:13 PM

Working at a car yard we frequently have to send someone to do an odd job now and then. eg. drop a car off to window tinting place and so on. So we sent off one employee and his mobile phone, followed him a few cars behind, and this is basically what took place... (Note: Real names not used).

*Ring his mobile phone*
Him: Hello?
Us: Hi, is this Mr. John Smith.
Him: Yes that's correct.
Us: This is Senior Constable Fred Brown.
Him: Yes, how may I help you.
Us: You do realise it's illegal to talk on a mobile phone whilst driving.
Him: Oh...

When he got back you could not wipe the smiles off our faces, he soon caught on and just knocked off for the rest of the day!

4.9 EF Futura · 04-08-2005, 03:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ghia5L

Busting the "locals" when they're attempting to steal plastic bags can be funny sometimes :P

I think my standout moment at work was when this 16yo said "Dave, I got my nipple pierced yesterday!" and I'm stuggling to think of the non-MSN/real life term for "pix?" and she promptly lifts her top

:

Oh what a pity there are now security cameras in staff-only areas, as stuff like that used to happen all the time. A night manager busted two (ex-staff) chicks going for it in the vegie coolroom once :(

Another funny (karma this time) incident was getting mild food poisoning after eating/pinching about $10 of deli meat (hey, I was hungry and bored!) The rest of that shift was interesting...

-Dave-

Off topic sorry dave, but much love on the avatar.

I'm here for the 5 oclock free crack giveaway!

montyv8 · 04-08-2005, 03:39 PM

do you know its illegal to impersonate a police officer? ;)

funny stuff tho

ZC-Cruiser · 04-08-2005, 05:10 PM

I used to work for Telstra doing radio telephone systems.
North of Cairns on the way to Cooktown, there is a place called Palmer River where you can make a left turn off the highway and follow a rough track about 100km to the Palmerston R/T.
I have driven out there in a Landcruiser, thinking that since it was only 100km that way, we would save loads of time over going the long way rould via Laura which is about 500km.
WRONG!!! - it took us 8 hours to cover the road - getting into 3rd gear was cause for cheering...

Anyhow, a couple of years later, I was part of a crew of 3 Riggers and 1 Tech who went around doing additional phones as required.
We had 4 vehicles:
- My Landcruiser ute with all the Tech gear and my camping gear
- The lead Rigger's Landcruiser ute with a bunch of rigging and camping gear
- Mercedes 911 4WD truck with tools, rigging gear and loads of other stuff
- Louisville truck with a 25 foot tray, a giant Hiab crane and towing a dog trailer with a backhoe on it

The Louisville was having trouble getting up the steeper hills, and they were hooking the 911 to it to help it by towing it.

I was travelling first and when I heard the Louisville driver call the 911 driver for help, I'd pull over and have a read, keeping an eye on the rear view mirror and carry on when I saw them coming again.

During one such wait, they called me and said I had better come back.

Seems that the Louisville driver had tried to get up a hill in too high a gear, got some axle hop and the tailshaft twisted up like a piece of licorice and snapped off.

We unloaded the backhoe and cleared an area off the road at the top of the hill to park the vehicles on so we could figure out what to do - while doing this, a not-so-friendly stick staked one of the front tyres on the hoe.
Luckily, the hoe's tool kit did not have a wheel spanner to get the wheel off...

So, there we were, two broken vehicles, 35 degrees in the shade, and about a million flies - EACH.

The Lead Rigger drove back to the nearest phone to call the mechanic in Cairns and get him to get up to uss with the parts and spares we needed to get going again while I unloaded my ute ready to run back to Mareeba to get the hoe tyre fixed when the mechanic got there with the tools.

We eventually got it all sorted out and made a command decision that the road was just too rough for the Louisville and abandoned the mission, falling back to the Palmer River Roadhouse for an evening of beers and relaxing...

It was amazing to see the huge chunk of steel that was a Louisville tailshaft just twisted up and snapped like that - a testament to the grunt available from the old Ford donk - and the total lack of mechanical sympathy displayed by the driver...

ZC-Cruiser · 04-08-2005, 05:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by parawolf

Man i'm so glad I work in the high end of IT - I actually deal with educated systems administrators and programmers, not end users. I don't think I could stand the IT industry if it was any other way...

Yes, it's incredible how frustrating it can be trying to explain to a user how to do something...

How about the Hotel that kept complaining to their booking system provider that the server was restarting itself every night at 11pm.

Much discussion over a long period of time, you know:
"It IS restarting every night"
"It can't be - there are no cron jobs set up for that"
etc etc.

So eventually the software provider agreed to go to the site one night to see the server restart.
The customer and provider were sitting in the office, watching the server when, at 11pm, the cleaner came in, unplugged the server, plugged in the vacuum cleaner, vacuumed the carpet, plugged the server back in and went on her merry way - how embarrassing....

GreenMachine · 04-08-2005, 05:27 PM

Wrote this ages ago about my previous boss's wife... No wonder I quit... -

The individual in question recently swapped desks with the new PA. I swapped their computers over for them. I asked (somewhat foolishly), if Lindsay required me to swap the screens as well, seeing as they are identical.

"No, Nick. Of course not. Mine's different!"
"Sorry Lindsay, I thought they were both Phillips screens... We bought them all at the same time."
"Don't be stupid, Nick. Mine has the picture of my cat in the background, and Deborah's has a picture of her kids!"

ZC-Cruiser · 04-08-2005, 05:39 PM

How about the tool of a manager who was in charge of new radio telephone systems for all of North Queensland and when asked how many of his Landcruisers needed snorkels, winches and bull bars fitted said:
"None of them - if we fit that stuff to the trucks, the techs will start taking them places they shouldn't be."

So we struggled on, being careful when crossing swollen creeks and rivers that we HAD to get across to do the jobs allocated.

A short while later, tool of a manager was on a field trip North of Cooktown and while driving back in a big downpour, drowned his wagon in a flooded gully - drowned as in $5,000 repair bill for the broken engine and I am not sure what happened to the $100,000 Spectrum Analyser that was floating around in the back.

Within a month, we ALL had snorkels and bull bars.
Man, what a tool....

big_pete · 04-08-2005, 05:49 PM

my mum had a funny story
a bunch of them got some large black wrapping plastic (like glad wrap) and wrapped this poor guys entire car in it, from top to bottom.

the worst thing it was a stinking hot day so it would have been boiling sitting in the sun all day!!

XD-Machine · 04-08-2005, 06:04 PM

my friend told me a funny story. at macas these guys walked in to rob the store with a shotgun so wot does he do. he s off to get somethink to eat, not macas (went out the back door) lol thats ing fuunny

pandaman · 04-08-2005, 06:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by big_pete

my mum had a funny story
a bunch of them got some large black wrapping plastic (like glad wrap) and wrapped this poor guys entire car in it, from top to bottom.

the worst thing it was a stinking hot day so it would have been boiling sitting in the sun all day!!

lol, At work we deal with a lot of freight companies including ipec, ipec require every item we send to be individually labelled with an ipec consignment sticker. A coupla years ago one of our dirvers had to do a run to sydney on christmas eve, when he got back at around 8pm he found his car wrapped from top to bottom in plastic wrap with ipec freight stickers all over it addressed to every weird place the fellas could think of. Nice christmas present yeah?

ZC-Cruiser · 04-08-2005, 06:44 PM

or the hardware dispatch clerk who was taking a phone order for a construction site.
Sometimes the sites have a forklift and sometimes the truck has to be unloaded by hand.

Why wouldn't you find out which by saying:

"Will that be a fork off or a hand job?"

pandaman · 04-08-2005, 06:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ZC-Cruiser

or the hardware dispatch clerk who was taking a phone order for a construction site.
Sometimes the sites have a forklift and sometimes the truck has to be unloaded by hand.

Why wouldn't you find out which by saying:

"Will that be a fork off or a hand job?"

ROFL, thats gold i'm gonna use that next time the chance comes up.

niko · 04-08-2005, 06:58 PM

ive had alot of fun at my IT job, started there as a student and killed lots of holiday time with a mate was great fun.

some good stories there guys, i love the server unexplainably turning off, cough cleaner, trained ppl that know what there on about not being able to explain whats happening ;)

**Mesa** · 04-08-2005, 09:00 PM

We got a new order of Loctite (406,the super strong stuff) and as a joke, I deciced to glue one of my workmates boots to his locker door and the other one to the roof above his locker. The fun began when he tried to get them off. The one on the locker took two of us to remove it and ripped part of the sole off and left it permanently stuck to the door. The one on the roof wouldn't budge, even with his weight (110 kgs) swinging off it!! After we eventually pryed it off with a screwdriver, a 2ft sqaure area of gyprock and paint was still attached to the bottom of his boot!! The lunchroom fridge/freezer has also been a source of practical jokes with coffee cups, hats, boots etc put in plastic sealable bags filled with water and frozen overnight.

Psycho Chicken · 04-08-2005, 09:04 PM

We've got killer super glue at work. Poor spare parts apprentice, the look on his face when he couldn't get his pen off the desk.

ZC-Cruiser · 04-08-2005, 09:10 PM

Glue is good, but when you have a guy who wears his boots in, slips his feet out of them and leaves them parked under his desk all day while wandering around in thongs and then slips back into them to go home and part of the job is using a Ramset gun to shoot alloy plates onto the floor then...

You do the maths :-)

Falchoon · 06-08-2005, 09:51 PM

Saturday is usually clean-up and odd job day at work. I was loading the truck with scrap cardboard to take to the recycling depot. When I was ready to leave I first asked the boss if he wanted me to drop the smoko order at the take-away and pick it up on the way back. He said no that one of the other guys who was going out on delivery was going to do it. No worries I though, hopped in the truck and cruised off to the recycling depot, unloaded the cardboard and then cruised back to work. The boss then asked me when I was going to take the cardboard away and drop off the smoko list!

: I guess to be fair to him he could be mistaken for being a bit confused about the cardboard as the previous week it took 2 guys over an hour to do the same job that just took me 10 mins...not that I'm a super worker, I think the others were having a bit of a bludge. As for the smoko order, I dunno what planet he was on when just minutes earlier he told me not to worry about it!

:

Falchoon · 06-08-2005, 09:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ZC-Cruiser

Glue is good, but when you have a guy who wears his boots in, slips his feet out of them and leaves them parked under his desk all day while wandering around in thongs and then slips back into them to go home and part of the job is using a Ramset gun to shoot alloy plates onto the floor then...

You do the maths :-)

Reminds me of a previous job where the smart ar$e chippie who was the Union rep and also on the OH&S Committee used to walk around in sneakers all the time instead of his safety boots. He'd been warned verbally about this several times in the past but just ignored them. He eventually stood on a nail and the stupid d!ckheads at work still accepted his compo claim even though he wasn't wearing his boots!

loxxr6 · 07-08-2005, 09:16 PM

We break up the boredom by going to people's pc's and by sending weird emails from their computer.

One day it might be them unknowingly coming out of the closest to another employer, another day it might be them confiding in another employer over the bright red rash they "have" on the genitals. The one they only trust the 2nd victim of the prank to be able to keep quiet on.

If people don't lock their terminals then they get "stung".

**Mesa** · 07-08-2005, 09:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Psycho Chicken

We've got killer super glue at work. Poor spare parts apprentice, the look on his face when he couldn't get his pen off the desk.

Try gluing a 50c or dollar coin to the ground (or desk) where people walk by and watch how determined some people get trying to remove it.

:

07-08-2005, 10:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by XD-Machine

my friend told me a funny story. at macas these guys walked in to rob the store with a shotgun so wot does he do. he s off to get somethink to eat, not macas (went out the back door) lol thats ing fuunny

Back when my brother was working at maccas, it just hit closing time and some guys smashed the drive thru window and jumped in and did the "everyone get on the floor". The girl out the front was already in tears pleading her life, but my brother walks over to production(where the burgers slide to the front) grabs a quater pounder and cheeseburger and sits on the floor in the kitchen munching away...