Quote:
Originally Posted by Trejo
Relate to that all too well, I don't know what era your schooling was, but mine in the late 70s to early 80s was not metrosexual friendly, meaning i only had a niece 9months older than me , her sister 3 years younger and 5 female cousins a year and 2 , each side of me, 2 elder sisters and a neurotic overbearing martyr mother figure, as my role models, so when this adhd neurotic girly boy got picked on, a girl came to his rescue, oh the shame, thats all i felt.. THAT'S ALL.. huh! No ONE was aware of the long term mental health damage added to a broken minded kid. 35years later and we now get to discuss and understand and hopefully for most, recover. And most importantly guide our kids to suit their Personality, not what we think is best, i tried to show my son how to stand up to bullies n to use intellect, but i could see he wasn't going to as he too has conflict anxiety, so we discussed how he would prefer to deal with life's hurdles and I'm confident he will never have to snap n use violence, bar the fact that he is an intelligent nerd at uni now, he jokes that he only has to threaten to call his BPD dad, which deep down i know that would be worse for him than copping a wedgie and moving on.
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That was a strange neighbourhood of mutants. I finished university in the late 70s. I have to be honest. I had no problem with Judy stepping in that day. I was ready to get my *** kicked because I was not going to back down. Maybe Judy realized I made a seriously wrong decision and decided to step in.
There are certain people across places and time you don't forget and she is one of them. That was a crystallizing moment where everybody on that bus decided that guy had to go, and he did. He never rode that bus again. I have many other stories of that "interesting" time.
I agree, conflict when on a personal level, can be very difficult to handle, especially when your child is coping with issues. I have a daughter from my ex who is actually 4 months older than my lady. I was very involved with my daughters school and sports, so I saw a lot of interaction among the kids. Maybe you have noticed this, up here, girls in the ~11 - ~16 yr age group can be very mean to their "own" that is other girls of the same age group. She grew up in a much better neighbourhood than I did, but the issues of how girls treat one another was often very difficult. I think what you did was good. That is, letting your child steer the path and then provide support for these situations.