Quote:
Originally Posted by Trejo
Sneaky: thanks and you answered why I was reluctant to do yoga.. the fact that the quieter it is the more thoughts come rushing in causing chaos.. I describe it as Mindtropolis..where, like a scene from metropolis, instead of vehicles, my thoughts are travelling in many directions at many altitudes.
And to verify again that the ones closer to us are the ones more likely to not want to, or even try to understand our illness and definately more likely to leave us to it the more we understand and get the help we need. Please everyone Google Borderline Personality Disorder (I am a severe case and have no support groups designed specifically for my disorder within a 2hr travel radius where I am) it's so difficult to treat because of the many factoring causes.. so if you read in depth about it .. there may be some factors that either allow you to stop being so hard on yourself ie. Discovering that your subconscious has been the a-hole/gambler/drug addict/alcoholic etc while you yourself were just looking for emotional stability that just doesn't seem to happen no matter how hard we try because we didn't know we couldn't be that and that we definately can't have lashing tongues from loved ones mouths.. give me a smack in the head any day compared to my ex wife's nasty words.. dont get me wrong. . Her words are her fists.. so it makes sense to not get into a boxing ring if you are a wrestler.. and that is what makes us loners.. so when you are honest and accept that is who we are.. then we can count on ourselves to be the only way to happiness, sadly
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Bold is ringing true here, I'm finding myself less and less tolerant of other people and especially at work any little nuance is making me irritable.
I am thinking maybe I was meant to be a loner and it's something that's happened since my late teens where I decided quality was better over quantity so I only have a handful of people I regularly speak to and if I find a connection with anyone else I'm very cautious until that trust is mutual.