When I saw my GP this morning I wanted to ask about getting a better not stronger antidepressant, he said what's up mate, and I said well I don't know if it's the cancer, me or something else!.....
I told him for the life of me I can't think straight, I said usually I make quick decisions, but not wether or not to go on chemo!....he said that's your choice to make, he said you don't think like other people, I know exactly what he meant by it, I am a spacey lateral type thinker, and have always assessed problems almost instantly and made a decision in seconds!
But, not this time, do I or don't I have chemo?..big decision too, and am leaning towards not having any adjuvant treatment, and would he look after pain management later on, he said yes of course!
So I'm still on my 1x 100mg Pristiq per day, but I'm not depressed at all, in fact I have until Monday to decide, that's the " not worth the bother after day "
It was a forgone conclusion and almost set in stone 5 weeks ago, but I go to bed thinking about it and wake up the same way?....its crazy....
I don't want the Oncologist to think I'm being non-compliant, it's been suspended 3 times due to illness, then getting my teeth out, I get the stitches removed from my gum tomorrow, it won't be healed by Monday!
Mmmm, life eh, it wasn't designed to be easy, unless your in a rock band, lol......
Cheers Billy
