Quote:
Originally Posted by Spudz27
If your referring to her supposed lack of interest, it is not that, for 13yrs it has been this way. She might complain we have not had any fun, but she won't instigate. So me not feeling like it which is strange means we might go ages as she has just never instigated anything. She doesn't lack interest but she readily admits it is not comfortable for her to initiate and she never knows where to start. In my current headspace which I don't even know where I am, it feels like she doesn't care that I am finding it hard to have gone from highly active in bed to nothing.
Admittedly she has no experience with depression apart from putting up with me and the way I treat her and the kids for 13yrs, but on the same hand she will leave it to me and won't make an effort to understand the problem. I have put her through hell and she is still around weirdly.
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most people will never understand why it's so hard for sufferers to not just GET OVER IT and/or MAN UP (this i heard a mother say to her daughter) because how many of us sufferers care to think why they DON'T. i know now that a large percentage of DON'T understanders are WON'T understanders due to shining the spotlight on themselves means dealing with their own is too much to cope with and would rather put up with (ignore) a loved one's faults instead. which in my case turned a won't (as in my 2nd wife who pushed for a better psych and other professional diagnostic opinions that finally got me on the right track after near 9 years of just coping or ignoring my irregularities with the words love and happy and not wanting sex either as to share the blame so i wont stop taking my meds just so i get sex drive back to keep her happy in the bedroom. ) into a CAN'T coper.. when the spotlight was finally off me and will inevitably swing around onto her, and in one swift hour she had me packed and her sister doing the speaches lije " i hear you but you have to leave and we'll see how things are after you get better, one day at a time for now" typical separation clichés, but this time after every angry, hurt, cry, shout, vengeful thought process ..a deep realisation of honest relief to only have myself to protect and help became the truth that i still asure myself of that was best for all.
ps before it all , i did try , since my lack of libido wasn't really bothering me, to at least try to entertain my lady on occasion and bought her a gift that wasn't biggervthan me but had 10 times the stamina or energy and fancier moves than me, actually after i analysed its actions, thought to myself i wouldn't of thought that there in that spot and in that direction would of felt like anything, other than plain annoyance. anyway it relieved a couple of my anxieties as i, guiltless , got to watch my motor sport and enjoy the sounds of an electric razor being bogged down, and finally the light pattering of my wifes happy feet barely touching the ground as she cooked my dinner. help yourself help whats best for all the realistic truth an not deny it is what it is no matter what people prefer it be or expect it to, keep up the fight